Sex. The horizontal hokey pokey. Making love. Doing it. I want to take a few minutes and talk about this amazing thing I am super thankful that God created. There is, among others, one thing that convinces me that evolution (humans evolving through millions of years from single- celled organisms) is not how our bodies were formed. This thing points to a loving, creative, generous Creator. It’s called the orgasm. It makes no sense outside the parameters of Intelligent Design ( God’s unfathomable knowledge, power, and the use of it to form life).
Sex has been enjoyed since the beginning, and there’s even a book in the Bible dedicated to singing the praises of the intimate relationship God gives to a husband and wife. It’s called Song of Solomon. Sex is a good gift from God, and through it comes the miracle of new life. Evolution Schmevolution (for clarification I do believe in microevolution: documented small changes over time within a preexisting species for survival purposes). The compatibility of a man and woman to fit together, with pleasure, and with the added ability to create new life points only to God. So I like it for that.
I also love that it is a way to express love and desire. It’s amazing how powerful a force it is. Unfortunately, like we usually do, we’ve got it twisted. Sex is no longer used the way it was intended. We have made it a means of gratifying lust, giving it a strictly physical value. I’ve done it. You may have, too. Many times we think that if we have escaped without physical consequence, we are doing just fine. It’s normal. The problem is, the consequences are there, physical or not.
Sex was created for marriage, but nobody wants to wait. Even many Christians I know don’t think it’s a big deal to have sex before marriage. Tell that to the girl sitting in the abortion clinic because she’s not sure the relationship’s going to work out. Or the brave girl who decides to keep the baby and then had to tough it out as a single mom. Tell that to the thousands of orphans in Africa whose parents have died of HIV. Tell that to the couple who finds out they are infertile because of scarring from an undetected STD contracted from a previous partner. Those are just physical. Sex outside of marriage has internal consequences, too. Jealousy, comparison, insecurity, and dissatisfaction are all by-products of being in multiple relationships. We have taken something beautiful and made it dangerous and even deadly.
I didn’t wait to have sex. One of my consequences was a miscarriage at the age of 23. The dad couldn’t be bothered to come to the hospital. Though heartbreaking regardless, it would have been comforting if I’d had a loving husband holding my hand through it, but I was alone. That was one of the catalysts that let me know something was wrong in my life. I would love to tell you that I cleaned up my act after that, but it took about two years for me to let God have control of my “love-life”. For the last 10 years I’ve had periods of not so patient waiting, and periods of falling back into old habits and then being hurt once again.
I’m not gonna lie. I really love sex. But I want the best that God has for me, not just the cheap imitation of what sex should be..a connection between body, heart, and soul between me and my husband (whoever he is). I’m going to have to tell him that I have messed up, but I have the power not to add any more garbage to the list. I am being faithful to him before I meet him. He’s worth it and so am I. And if I don’t get married, then I am living in obedience to God and I won’t be held back by an unplanned pregnancy or a confused heart that is in the wrong relationship.
To all my married friends, I’m happy for you. For my girlfriends who are superheroes and are still virgins, you have a great gift to give to your future partner. For everyone else who has messed up like me, God can turn any and every situation around for your good and for his glory. You just have to let him in. After all, he created sex. He is pretty freaking awesome.